February 2012
I’ve been trying to figure out how to wake Sarah up because she’s still sleeping and of all the ways I thought of, I think waking her up by jumping on the bed and saying “get on this dick” in her ear is the best way. What do you think. Doesn’t matter that one wins.
One problem I specifically remember really being bothered by while in a long distance relationship was that if there was a day or two where I didn’t post about the girl I was dating, or I stopped complaining about wanting to see her, people would assume we had broken up or that she no longer existed in my life? I would go without talking about stephany for like three days and then I’d...
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An excerpt from my journal when I was seventeen:
“I have to poop so bad. But I don’t want to poop at school. Probably cause I ate a lot this morning. I had blueberry muffin miniwheats. They’re so good. I wish I could be a chef, but I’m not very good at cooking. So maybe I could be a food critic, but you still have to have experience in food. I have to poop so bad! I think...
If I make you breakfast and get you off twice then it’s only fair that you watch three episodes of Challenge: Battle of the Exes with me. It’s ONLY fair.
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Watch
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I have a couple really close friends that I hang out with individually, but the group of friends I hang out with are all mostly very much like.. the people that the majority makes fun of? All the boys are gay, but that’s not the point. The point is they wear kandi bracelets, and all of them collect yu-gi-oh cards and watch anime and listen to really weird electronica music and wear the joke...
here is what happened today:
i woke up at 5:15 am!!!! terrifying.
i took the bus and the train to redondo beach to meet up with chris
got to the dmv at 9:45 for my test at 10:00am but i didn’t get to take my test til 11:22 because they didn’t have their stuff together i guess
took the driving test, sweated a lot during it
parked and sat inside the truck for five whole minutes...
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I had a dream that an ambulance with it’s lights on drove into an In-N-Out parking lot, and then two firemen jumped out and used hoses to spray this foam stuff all over whatever was inside some kind of food delivery truck. Like ten In-N-Out employees ran out and starting saying “is the meat contaminated? it’s snake meat. we got it for free” and then all at once they all...
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NO YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP DAD
crapheadslaphead-deactivated201:
its BAD ENOUGH
that you bring this STOBBERN NESS
inna MY LIFE
an inna MOMS LIFE
dont BREAAAng it
into EVERYBODY ELSES L
a poem that I wrote
Did you ever think you would be in your room doing yoga and quietly repeating “i believe in myself” the night before your driving test because I didn’t
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“When I said I wasn’t with another girl
the January after we fell in love for...”
– Jon Sands, A Working List of Things I Will Never Tell You
(via holdonmagnolia)
Anyway I have my driving test tomorrow at 10am and I’m pretty terrified and anxious about it. Very anxious. I don’t do well with tests because I always psych myself out about them. For the rest of the night you should dedicate whatever you do to me passing my test. Do you have to poop? Dedicate that to me passing my test. Are you licking a stamp? Dedicate that to me passing my test....
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Who knew that writing a stupid poem on a pink piece of construction paper and scanning it would get 450+ more notes than it would have gotten if I had just typed the stupid thing out. Whatever man
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I was going through an old 2009 journal of mine when I came across the entry that I made about the first time I met chris, who is now my best friend. Hold on let me show you what I wrote about him. “Lexy and I both felt a little uncomfortable while we were with them because Chris kept flirting with me.” Oh my fucking god. I knew he was gay for me from the very fucking beginning. You...
Young and hairy, hard to carry.
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I think if you’re in a place in your life where you need trigger warnings for various things that very seriously affect you, then maybe using a website where the entirety of your dashboard is made up of posts that you aren’t in control of is a bad idea? Maybe it would be safer to strictly follow blogs that you are certain will be posting content that makes you feel safe because if...
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I specifically remember saying last night that I was only going to have a few drinks but I didn’t realize that drinking in a jacuzzi makes it easier to get drunk. Before I knew it I spent half an hour explaining what going down on a girl is like to four gay guys and one straight girl. They all looked disgusted the whole time I remember that part very clearly. It turns out gay guys...
I’m still a little drunk but that doesn’t make this post any less important serious because I was thinking about this before I got drunk in the nice hot jacuzzi. What was I saying. At least one good thing about the situation between sarah and I is that it made me forget about stephany and I’s breaking up. I mean it didn’t make me forget but it made me realize what was...
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coolhappygeniusheroes asked: bro. charlie. i know iam drunk right now but take this seriously. i know you are sad over breakup(s_ but for real dont be. any chick would be lucky as fuck ot have you. you are the best man.
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I’m ready for the next step in life. And that must mean that I am ready to enter the flagging world. What bandana can I put in my pocket to signify what kind of sexual acts I am into hold on let me google this a little bit. All I get is a light blue bandana what the heck. Light blue left pocket, my dude. Why isn’t there a bandana for “call me daddy” because let’s be...
Anyway, whenever I ride the train I always sit in the inside seat because it’s just polite to leave the other seat open so someone can sit in it. This really nice lady comes and sits down next to me and says “thank you” very sweetly. For the whole train ride, she kept saying “mhmm” like she was listening to a sermon. She was really into her mhmm’s I felt like I...
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Chris and I are on our way to dinner, and he was flipping through radio stations and “someone like you” was on so I said “ugh.. leave it.” So he slowly turned it up while I said “I’m a fucking idiot” and then we both lost it. It was sweet. I’m sweet, so date me.
Anyway someone got stabbed today on the green line and that’s the only train I ever take. I’m taking it to chris’s tomorrow and I feel like I’ve got a “stab me” vibe going on. So you can just never be too sure.
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smut-mutt:
Charlie is special and I talk about him all the time. He’s so loved. We all know I’m gay but did we know how gay I am for Charlie? …Oh we did? Well never mind then.
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“‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer (via quidniegoillud)
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I had a dream that I went back to my high school and everyone looked like identical conjoined twins. So I said in a really cheesy, terribly joking voice, “so is it twin day or am i seeing double?” and everyone looked at me but nobody laughed.
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Contrary to popular belief, what was once thought to be a “beating” sound coming from the heart is actually a small voice quietly repeating “i’m so fucking sad and stupid” over and over again.
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discreetboner:
Austin poers is drinking the coffee. He doesnt know that the coffee is poop. Dont drink the poop Austin.
And he did it. He rank the poop.
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I was going to make a post saying “you can’t reblog pictures of other people kissing or doing things if I can’t do those things because it isn’t fair and they make me feel bad” but now I’m not because I’m sure taylor has already made that post. I was going to do a lot of things but now I’m not. I was going to make a good post but now I’m not...
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